August 31, 2011

Waffley Wedded Wife: Rewriting My Vows

Posted in Random at 9:05 am by sewknotwrite

We had planned the rest of the day before the wedding to be pretty chill and relaxed.  After rehearsal brunch, MOH Sweet Pea and I went to get our nails done and then it was off to the Dog and Duck Pub for some grub and hangin’ with friends and family.  I was enjoying myself, but there was a little voice in the back of my brain that wouldn’t be quiet and said, “You need to finish your vows.”

You see, I had started my vows, but was having trouble finishing.  I was feeling intense pressure for them to be great…REALLY great.  They were dripping with beautiful and flowery metaphors with a witty line or two thrown in for good measure and a laugh, but something wasn’t quite right about them and they needed to be finished.  How is it that I couldn’t find the words?

Mr Waffle and I went back to our apartment and he hurriedly packed his overnight back as midnight was looming.  He’s a very traditional and superstitious guy and technically seeing me on the day was not an option for him.  As he rushed out the door, he gave me a kiss and said, “Don’t forget to turn the AC back on.  You’ll get hot.  Bye!”  Then he was gone.

For a split second, I was honestly a little bit miffed.  We were getting married tomorrow.  I wasn’t going to see or speak to him again until 6:30pm on Sunday and those were his last words to me?  Seriously?  Not “I love you” or “can’t wait to marry you tomorrow”, but…huh?

I started to cry, but I wasn’t crying because his sentiments weren’t what I expected them to be.  I knew what the sentiments behind his words were.  Mr Waffle is a man of few words and isn’t one to offer up many compliments or “I love yous”, but his caring actions say it for him.  I knew the meaning behind his words were I love you and want the best for you.  Everyday he always wants the best for me and I should want the best for him.

Then it clicked.  I wasn’t really writing vows for him.  I was writing vows for our guests like a script to be performed.  I was writing saccharine sweet, drippy, meaningful prose for all the wrong reasons and had been torturing my self for months over it.

Flooded with emotion and clarity about what I truly wanted to say, I flew to my computer and in 5 minutes I did what I couldn’t do in 5 months.

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